Fall 2008

As Iook back on Fall 2008, I realized this was the semester I came out of my shell. Not completely out, mind you, but out enough that I actually experienced life without my thinking of consequences. Well, I thought of consequences, but it didn't stop me from doing what I wanted to do. This semester started out with my being full of expectations, but they were eventually dashed, hence the disappointments came and questions went unanswered. Despite these setbacks, I'll never forget this semester because I really got to know a number of my pledge sisters more. I wasn't particularly close to them that I would make an effort to hang out with them when we were pledging and even when we were neos. Now, I don't even have to make an effort to see them, I want to. They are some of the best friends I ever had and I hope next semester will be the same as this. Full of conversations, excursions, walks, bus rides, random moments, sushi, pledge bashing (haha), etc.

So, here's to this semester (raises a jamba juice) and to the next...

Creepy Lizard

There's a lizard crawling on my wall and it keeps poking its head near my mattress... uck! I prefer cockroaches to lizard because I can actually kill a roach without feeling bad about it. Lizards are too fast and are actually useful (they eat flies and mosquitos), and are at least semi-cute. 

Anyway, I started yesterday in a panic because I waited until then to do my final paper for ECE, and we were suppose to present it to the class as a final. I figured it'll take me about three hours at the most to finish it... WRONG! I woke up at 8 (an hour earlier than I planned) and I started on my paper. By 12 noon, I was still working on it and I found out I still have to write a letter to my mentor and prepare my field documents. By the time I finished the paper it was already pass one, I was still in my pajamas, and I haven't written my mentor letter or prepared my field docs and the final was at 1:45. When I left my room, there were things everywhere (my notes that I threw on the floor and on my bed, my books, a bag of cookies, etc.). My roommates said it was as if a tornado passed through my side of the room.

I had written a quick letter and I worked on preparing my field docs in the shuttle. Then, as I was running to the classroom my dad called me wanting to chat because he was bored at work. When I got to class I found everyone talking and eating, they haven't started and were apparently waiting for me and another girl to come. The final was less of a final and more socializing and beading. Yes, beading. I got to make this really cool hanging thing (it's currently next to my window) made with different colored and shaped glass beads. Each bead is supposed to represent the different aspects of early children that we have learned this semester. I just strung a bunch of beads together that looked pretty. When it was time to share, I made up some convoluted story as to why I pick a certain bead and it all worked out. Now, I am done with finals and I can now do what I've been wanting to do all semester. NOTHING!!

I've actually been doing a lot of nothing all semester, but now I can do nothing with out an assignment hanging over my head. YAY!

Going Solo Part 2 & 2nd Annual Iota Gift Exchange

For my solo day, I started off being nervous, but as the day progressed it went as okay as it can get. That Thursday was kind of an unusual day, as it was raining hard the whole day. This means no outdoor recess for the children, so they were full of energy and I had to finally put a few of the children "off target" and I had to put one of the students in time out a few times. (Although it does not seem to work when I put her in time out. I think what I need to do is to get her to respect me and show I mean business. Hmmm... I have to think about this some more.) All in all, this day showed me that I have to work on a lot of things if I ever want to be a teacher in the near future, but I enjoyed it.

We had our second annual Iota Gift Exchange tonight. This tradition should be kept, although I will not be at the third annual (sadly as money is tight right now my museum studies dreams might have to wait for a little while). As always, hanging out with my pledge sisters was awesome. I just wish we could do it more often, but everyone's so busy and it's usually just myself and the third floor Frear people going to Genki night (and we haven't done that in a while either).









Anyway, I have a new book! ... thanks secret sister! ... I've been wanting to read Book of Lost Things (by John Connolly) for a while. AND I got a Borders Gift card AND a bunch of other random things (hahah... listing them would take too long). In addition to those fabulous gifts, Ju finally remembered to burn me a Jake CD. Yay! Now, if only I could get Ms. N___itikitembo to remember to buy me some swedish fish, I'd be in heaven...

Going Solo

I'm solo teaching tomorrow for the whole day! umm.... I'll let you know how it went.

Graduate School?

Maybe I don't have to fight so hard to come back for Museum Studies after all. A few weeks ago my mom called me and said that maybe it's smarter for me to come back right away for grad school instead of taking a year off to think. This change of heart from my parents' part was due to insurance only covering me as long as I'm in school full-time or until I'm twenty-three. If I take a year off, I'll be twenty-three by then and the insurance won't cover me and that means they'll have to pay for a separate insurance for me (I can't afford to get my own right now). So, yay for me, right?

Hmm... not so yay! After she told me this, I started thinking if this is something I really want to do. Whenever I call my parents, I always tell them how unhappy I am with my current major. That I hate my current major. That I am only staying and getting ready to graduate because it is what they want and I am following their wishes. Every time we talk on the phone I tell them that the thing I really want to do is go to graduate school and take Museum Studies. That is THE major for me and I am quite adamant about this. My main argument with my parents is that I hate teaching and I cannot see myself doing it ever. In reality, I am quite happy where I am right now. Sure, I am get sad and frustrated when I have to write lesson plans and reflections and such. Getting up early in the morning twice a week to go to my placement is not my favorite thing in the world. I didn't like taking the Praxis (hopefully I only have to take that last one and that I passed the first two I took). In reality, I love my students this semester and my mentor is great. I have made great friends in my cohort. Most of my professors are great people. I enjoy the classes I am taking (if not the work they have us do). It's only frustrating because I tend to procrastinate (a lot!), but I brought this to myself.

The thing is, I can see myself teaching. Maybe it's just the class I am with right now (these children are the most smart and well-behaved group I worked with so far... they're my dream students), but I can SEE myself teaching. I can see myself being a teacher and working with children and enjoying it 85% of the time.

When I look deeper within myself, the real reason I want to come back for graduate school is that I do not want to leave college yet. I am not ready. I am finally starting to have fun and stepping out of my shell, but now I have to leave. I also love living away from my parents. I love the freedom I have here. I love the independence. I do NOT want to go back home and live with my parents again. It's not because of my really wanting to go into Museum Studies (although it does sound really exciting from what I've read about it)... it's all these other reasons that I want to go to grad school. Grad school equals not having to live with my parents and being to be under their watchful eyes again. If my parents said yes, I can stay live here after I graduate I would not go back to school if I could help it.

Then why the heck am I thinking "is grad school really what I wanna do?" I have been fighting my parents for me to be able to do this since for more than a year. Maybe I don't want to stay in school longer and have to do all that going to school entails. Or maybe I just wanted it so badly because my parents are saying no and its something I have fight for. Now that it's attainable it lost its appeal?

Hmm...